Three Regulation Tricks You May Not Know (but can use anywhere)
Nervous system regulation techniques for when you're about to lose it
You know that moment when you’re about to completely lose it? When your nervous system is revving like a car engine and you can feel yourself about to spiral?
Sometimes my anxiety level goes from “normal” to “oh my god I want to rip my own skin off” in the blink of an eye. When that happens, “just breathe” just isn’t going to get the job done.
Here are some techniques that actually help me regulate in the moment.
Say what you’re feeling out loud. Yes, to yourself. Alone.
One time I was driving to therapy and a large rock flew up from a truck and slammed into my windshield. The sound was deafening. I was already barely holding it together - this was during intensive outpatient treatment for my mental health - so I was not in a good place to begin with.
When that rock hit, I literally yelled, “FUCK, that was scary!”
And something surprising happened. Just verbalizing it - acknowledging out loud that yes, that was terrifying - helped me avoid completely spiraling. I didn’t get triggered into full hyperarousal. I didn’t dissociate. I just... stayed present.
Real talk: Sometimes just saying what you’re feeling out loud is incredibly regulating, even when you’re talking to yourself. It’s self-validation in real time.
Let yourself verbalize your feelings with the true emotion behind them. As angry as you need to. As loud as you need to. As quiet as you need to. Whatever fits the emotion you’re actually experiencing. (Not the emotion you think you “should” be experiencing.)
Stand up and sway. Not for fun - for bilateral input.
If you’ve ever cared for a baby, you know the instinct to rock back and forth when they’re crying. Parents do it automatically - you’ll catch yourself swaying in the grocery store line even when the baby isn’t with you.
There’s a reason for that. Bilateral stimulation - the back-and-forth movement - is incredibly soothing to the nervous system. And it works for adults too.
This calms my system faster than scrolling ever has.
You can do it anywhere. Standing, seated (important for driving, working, or if standing isn’t accessible), or even with tiny micro-sways nobody notices.
I use a mini trampoline at my standing desk, which turns regulation into something playful that my ADHD brain actually wants to do. The softer surface also helps because I struggle with bodily sensations from movement - past trauma plus autism means I’m pretty sensory avoidant. A lot of us are.
Use ice. Like, actually hold it in your hands.
For me, ice has been shockingly effective (pun intended) when I’m starting to spiral into anxiety.
When I’m anxious, I also feel flushed and overheated. So the combination of focusing very mindfully on how cold the ice is and the ice literally bringing down my body temperature signals safety to my nervous system.
I hold ice cubes in my hands. Sometimes I rub them on the back of my neck. If I’m out and don’t have access to ice, I’ll put my hands on the metal parts of the refrigerated section at the grocery store. (Yes, I look weird. No, I don’t care anymore.)
Here’s why: The cold shock interrupts the anxiety spiral and gives your brain something else to focus on.
Other ways people use ice for regulation:
Take ice cubes outside and throw them - watch them shatter
Do a face ice bath - bowl of ice water, submerge your face for a few seconds (this triggers the dive reflex that literally slows your heart rate. You can also do this “diving” motion even without the ice water and it will have a similar effect.)
Cold showers or baths if you have access and if showering itself isn’t triggering for you
Ice is free. It’s accessible. And it works fast.
Try This:
Regulation doesn’t have to look peaceful. Sometimes it looks like yelling in your car, swaying like a parent with no baby, or standing at the freezer holding ice cubes.
Next time you feel a big emotion, name it out loud - Even if you’re alone. Even if it feels weird. “That was scary.” “I’m so angry right now.” “This is overwhelming.” Let yourself hear your own validation.
Add bilateral movement to moments you’re already standing - Brushing your teeth. Waiting for coffee to brew. On a phone call. Just gentle side-to-side rocking. Notice if your body softens even a little.
Keep ice accessible - Freeze some cubes. When anxiety hits and you feel hot and activated, grab one. Hold it. Let it be uncomfortable. That’s the point - it interrupts the spiral.
Your nervous system doesn’t care about aesthetics. It cares about feeling safe.
What’s your go-to regulation technique that doesn’t look “calm” from the outside?
Hit reply - I read every one.
Figuring it out with you,
Samantha
