Depression Survival Mode: The Basics That Actually Matter
When depression or anxiety hits, self-care advice can sound insufferable.
“Take a bubble bath!” “Treat yourself to a pedicure!”
Cool. I can’t get out of bed and you want me to... schedule spa time?
Here’s the thing: I’m not talking about pedicures and bubble baths. I’m talking about the basic executive functions that keep you alive and somewhat functional when your brain is actively working against you.
This isn’t about optimization or wellness culture. This is about survival mode—and that’s okay.
In the first part of this series, we covered the mindset work: acceptance, self-compassion, patience. Now let’s talk about what to actually DO when everything feels impossible.
Get Through the Day... Week... Month... Whatever
Focus on survival basics
Get food that sounds tolerable and is easy to prep and eat. It doesn’t have to be healthy, it just needs to provide your brain and body some fuel. Get clean at least once a week. Try for three times a week, celebrate if you do it twice, and give yourself all the credit if you only manage it once. If you can’t shower, take a bath (okay, I guess I was talking about baths, but there are no candles involved here y’all). Go outside. I hate this one even when I’m not struggling, but all the mental health professionals say sunlight...blah blah blah...fresh air...blah blah blah. Don’t even get me started on my feelings on exercise and cardio.
Have a bedtime routine
Sleep hygiene is a newer term in my vocabulary and when I see it I think it must mean something about having clean sheets. Weird terms aside, a bedtime routine is both more important and somehow more challenging when we’re experiencing the shit show. For some people, this means sleeping too much, for others it means a lack of sleep due to any number of reasons. Personally, I’m a revenge reader when I’m on the struggle bus. I’ll stay up until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning reading, even though my logical side knows I need at least 7 hours of sleep to function well. Mornings are not pretty when that happens. Try to go to bed and wake up as close to the same time each day as possible. Install an app on your phone that automatically blocks your access to social media or books at a certain time each night. Listen to ocean sounds, calming music or white (brown, green, pink) noise to relax. Some days, getting out of bed may mean only making it as far as the couch. Celebrate the win. Once again I must mention the importance of sunlight.
If you managed even one thing from this list today, that counts. Twice-weekly showers? A win. Eating something tolerable? Victory. Getting outside for five minutes? You’re doing great.
These aren’t the sexy self-care tips that make good Instagram posts. But they’re the ones that matter when you’re just trying to get through the day.
And here’s the truth: you don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you shouldn’t.
Next up in this series: how to let people help you—and why connection matters even when (especially when) you want to hide from everyone.
Missed the first post in the series? Find it here:
