Searching for God

Searching

I’m in a season of searching for God. While my faith is steadfast and has been the foundation of my life for many years, I find myself in a season of questioning, confusion, anger and wrestling. I’m not sure if this season was fully triggered by the death of my dad last year, or if it had actually started long before that. What I know is that now I’m fully in it.

I can’t believe that the sanitized God created by the predominantly white American church is really the entirety of God. I attend a church that does well in being inclusive of those who are hurting, addicted, in need. It is a safe place for the broken and hurting. And yet…

What are we missing? I am fighting, wrestling, struggling against the fact that I don’t understand this season I’m in. I don’t know what my faith will look like when I get through this season. I honestly don’t know what God will look like when I get to the other side, but I do know that I will have a clearer picture of who God really is, not just who I’ve been told He is.